In my last post I promised to think of a solution for myself. But if you like my solution you can also have it. There is no copy right infringement here. In fact, I have thought out not only one solution but a few of them. They are all free for all to copy if you are as mixed-up and confused as me. Now, here it goes.
My first solution, like many other "quitters", is to take flight. Now, how to take flight? I am not a rich man. I am already so old that when I applied to the Australia High Commission for emigration, they rejected me flatly without any chance of a redress. I also tried the Canadian and the US Embassies and was also told flatly that I am too old. That means I would not be able to emigrate to another 1st World country. Moreover, my CPF savings of about $200,000 have been totally wiped out during the Malaysian/Singapore Stock Exchange crisis 12 years ago. I only have a 5-room HDB flat which would fetch me about $300,000 at present market price and a meagre sum in the Medisave Account, which is being held by the government for safe-keeping. I have no other savings except two gold rings and a few gold coins. I have no children to depend upon but an equally aged wife to share my burden with. What can I do under such a situation?
Alternative 1: Convert my HDB flat to cash. Buy a cheap terrace house, about $130,000, in Johore. Keep the rest of the money ($170,000) in a fixed deposit to earn interests. Work in Singapore as a taxi driver as long as my health permits, up to the maximum limit of 73 years old with the clemency of our PM Lee. Let my aged wife set up a small corner to sell newspapers or magazines in JB, not so much as to earn extra income but to make her occupied so that she won't become senile and fall sick so easily.
Alternative 2: Convert my HDB flat to cash. Emigrate to China, Thailand or Vietnam. Obtain a PR status there. Renounce Singapore Citizenship. Draw out all monies in my CPF accounts. Buy or rent a small piece of land. Build a small hut and do some farming for self sustenance. Put the rest of the money in a fixed deposit to earn interests. When illness comes, be prepared to die. It will be cheaper to die elsewhere than to die in Singapore. Even death also costs a lot of money in Singapore. I estimated that a simple funeral would cost at least $3000.
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My second solution is to become a free-loader. Convert my HDB flat to cash. Rent a small room to stay. Put the money in a fixed deposit to earn interests. Then choose one of the following alternatives:
Alternative 1: Use a bit of the money to set up a hawker stall at one of the MRT stations or along Orchard Road. Be prepared to be caught by the Environment muscle-men and go to jail. Enjoy free food and lodging with the compliments of our efficient Ministry of Environment.
Alternative 2: Go to any public place and speak loudly without getting a permit from the police. Get my wife to call up the ISD to arrest me. Be prepared to go to jail like Dr Chee and Sister. Enjoy free food and lodging with the compliments of our Honorable Judiciary.
Whichever alternative I choose, I would keep repeating the same thing immediately after being released from imprisonment. Am I tired of living? Of course not! It is precisely because I want to live that is why I have to resort to this kind of measures. May be, after a while, I would start to enjoy prison life so much that I simply cannot mix with the outside world any more. Remember the show Papillon (1973)? In that show, three prisoners tried so hard to escape from a dreadful prison island. When they finally escaped, all three of them found it so difficult to re-merge with the society that they wished that they had not escaped in the first place. They found life outside so unbearable that one by one they committed suicide. That was a real life story filmed in a fictitious setting. I think I must be getting all confused and mixed-up now.
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My third solution is to become an illegal immigrant or refugee in another country. Convert my HDB flat to cash. Put all the money in a foreign bank. Get into a foreign country. Choose one that is of 1st World standard like USA, Canada or Australia. (If I choose a wrong country, I may be killed without anyone knowing it.) Get into that country using a tourist visa. Destroy the passport and any identification documents. Enjoy a holiday for about two weeks or until all the monies that I have brought with me are exhausted. Get myself arrested by the police there. Enjoy the free food and lodging for as long as possible. In case I get deported back to Singapore, I will attempt again in another country and another country, and another country ....... until I get the refugee status to permit me to stay in that country permanently. Sounds good? I must be going bonkers, right?
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My fourth solution is similar to the third. There is only a slight twist here. Instead of trying to get a refugee status, go for a political asylum. This means I have to do some preparations first before I go. The preparations involve making myself arrested by the government for political activism and get imprisoned again and again, like Dr Chee. Once a prolonged period of suppression can be proved and recorded, I would then convert my HDB flat to cash. Deposit the money in a foreign bank. Fly to USA as a tourist. Hang around for about one week. Report to the Authorities there that I wish to seek political asylum. That would kick up the whole process of investigation, confirmation, etc. etc. etc. until I get the approval for political asylum. Then I would become like any of the citizens there. Sounds better? Or I am simply going mad? Like some of the fellows who have branded Dr Chee as a madman?
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Warning and Disclaimer:
Well, those solutions are meant for my own consumption. I am not trying to encourage nor influence anybody to do such stupid things. Anybody who wants to copy the ideas are welcomed but don't ever put the blame on me by saying that I am instigating you to do so. You are hereby warned that whatever you do, you are taking your own risks. Don't say I have not warn you! I bear no responsibility for anything that may befall upon anyone as a result of what I have written. I am a very confused and mixed-up man, probably going senile in a very short time.
The Garuda - 21 August 2007
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